God, why does my life have to be so crazy? Why is it full speed all of the time? I cannot even think straight God. I need a break. Do these sound familiar? Family, work, church, etc., they can all drive you crazy by themselves never mind all together. So in my life I have all of those things pulling at me, eating at me, consuming me. I get to where I feel as though I am treading water with bricks attached to me feet. I cry out to God for change, for relief and then I ask why I haven't received it. I wonder what good would come from this stress and this chaos and why God would not allow me a reprieve. Then one of my co-workers uses their wisdom and says "You are losing your vacation time because you aren't using it. Use it! We can survive without you." Hmm...my guilt settles in. But then other people would be burdened with my work. God why can't I get relief? My co-worker reminds me again and again but I still feel this self created guilt. So again, God why can't I get relief. I have cut out everything I can cut out God. I need relief!
So I think about how I can create relief myself. I try to find things to help me. More tasks that would distract me. It is not working but for the temporary. I am not even making sense. Adding things so that I can have relief? The voice of my co-worker starts echoing in my head "You are losing vacation time because you aren't using it. Use it!" Maybe he is onto something. Everyone else takes time off. So that is what I am doing. I am taking a whole week off of work. I am still just on the weekend (days I already have off) and am already feeling the relief of knowing I don't have to go to work on Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday, etc. So God why haven't you given me a reprieve? Oh wait, You have been, but I haven't been taking it. I have been so focused on what I feel that I need to be doing for the world around me that I haven't realized what God has provided for me. Wow, what else might I be missing? Andrew Murray wrote much about how Jesus tells us to abide in Him. So many are consumed by self abiding in their lives (even with good intents) that we forget that God is with us. We forget that God is the creator of the heavens and the earth and carrying our burdens and the burdens of the world is nothing to Him. We are often knowingly carrying burdens that we know we can't handle because we feel we must because somebody has to do it. Don't forget, God doesn't need us at all but rather He wants us all. Jesus says this in Luke 19:40 (NIV) "I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.""
If you step back from life for a minute you will realize that what you view as a priority is not really such a priority. If you are looking for God's work in your life then perhaps you need to stop focusing on your own work in your life. Trust me, God's workmanship is of far better quality than your own. God will provide but you have to be willing to receive.
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